How To Spend Time with Your Loved Ones If Dementia Settles In

Welcome to Irisada’s blog. We focus on solutions for families living with differently abled – loved ones so they can live life to the fullest.

Recently, we’ve been focussing on activities and lifestyle adaptations for elderly citizen’s. Today we’re going to talk about a more sensitive subject: how to spend time with a loved one suffering from dementia.

Warning Signs That Your Independent Elder Needs More Help

Many families struggle with this development. When an active and independent loved one shows signs of no longer being able to take care of themselves, it’s incredibly difficult to determine just how much help they need. And understandably, most elders want to stay in their own home as long as possible, which makes the subject even more sensitive.

It can be hard to figure out exactly how much help your elder needs. (photo credit: Pixabay)

Generally speaking, there’s no absolute rule, especially if your elder doesn’t suffer from a specific medical condition. We found this great guide, (provide your email to download) by Leslie Kernisan, a practising geriatrician. It helps you evaluate what part of your elder’s lifestyle or health might be problematic, and identify suitable courses of action, as well as conversation starters. Thus you can really talk about solutions to specific questions, rather than just tell your loved one that you are “worried”, which might sound too vague from their standpoint.

Calibrating Activities for Elders With Dementia Like Conditions

The important and over-arching rule is to find failure-free activities as satisfaction stems more easily from doing than from an intended outcome. Just because a person has aged and changed, doesn’t mean they don’t need to cultivate their sense of self-worth. In turn, spending time in engaging and satisfying activities limits anxiety, stress and sundowning behaviour. The virtuous cycle helps with everyday life and might even slow the progress of the illness.

Before moving on to examples of activities for people with dementia-like conditions, we’d like to share this Ted Talk by Alanna Shaikh. We like the empathetic and relatable way Shaikh explains dementia (in this case Alzheimer’s disease).

 

What stands out is how many activities have been struck off the list, and the need to find extremely simple, hands-on alternatives.

Examples of No-Fail, Fun Activities For People with Dementia-Like Conditions

Everyone is different, so you’ll want to calibrate these activities according to your elder’s tastes.

In the early stages, your elder might still enjoy playing cards, like memory games or solitaire. They might enjoy Hua Hee, a memory card game specially developed for ageing family members. If your elder still wants to play their regular games, cards with bigger numbers will be easier to read.

An example of a memory box (photo credit: Home Instead)

If they still like looking at old souvenirs or special mementoes, you could make a memory box to rummage through or try this talking photo album, which helps your loved ones recall the memories in the pictures. Jewellery boxes also often have similar functions, though sometimes the memories – or lack thereof – can be overwhelming. You’ll also find that sensory activities help bring back memories, by activating their sense of smell or touch.

Some elders derive satisfaction from activities resembling household chores. You might find they love sorting cutlery, or folding towels and clothes. They will feel like they are doing something worthwhile. And at the same time, they can’t really fail these activities. Some will even enjoy cutting out coupons, for example. This means they have to be safe with scissors, so keep an eye out!

Remember, you can stay creative with your activities: make a (simple) puzzle that represents a special place, set up arts and crafts activities, create themed boxes with fabrics or materials. You know your elder best!

More links and ideas here:
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