How To Spend Time with Your Loved Ones If Dementia Settles In

Welcome to Irisada’s blog. We focus on solutions for families living with differently abled – loved ones so they can live life to the fullest.

Recently, we’ve been focussing on activities and lifestyle adaptations for elderly citizen’s. Today we’re going to talk about a more sensitive subject: how to spend time with a loved one suffering from dementia.

Warning Signs That Your Independent Elder Needs More Help

Many families struggle with this development. When an active and independent loved one shows signs of no longer being able to take care of themselves, it’s incredibly difficult to determine just how much help they need. And understandably, most elders want to stay in their own home as long as possible, which makes the subject even more sensitive.

It can be hard to figure out exactly how much help your elder needs. (photo credit: Pixabay)

Generally speaking, there’s no absolute rule, especially if your elder doesn’t suffer from a specific medical condition. We found this great guide, (provide your email to download) by Leslie Kernisan, a practising geriatrician. It helps you evaluate what part of your elder’s lifestyle or health might be problematic, and identify suitable courses of action, as well as conversation starters. Thus you can really talk about solutions to specific questions, rather than just tell your loved one that you are “worried”, which might sound too vague from their standpoint.

Calibrating Activities for Elders With Dementia Like Conditions

The important and over-arching rule is to find failure-free activities as satisfaction stems more easily from doing than from an intended outcome. Just because a person has aged and changed, doesn’t mean they don’t need to cultivate their sense of self-worth. In turn, spending time in engaging and satisfying activities limits anxiety, stress and sundowning behaviour. The virtuous cycle helps with everyday life and might even slow the progress of the illness.

Before moving on to examples of activities for people with dementia-like conditions, we’d like to share this Ted Talk by Alanna Shaikh. We like the empathetic and relatable way Shaikh explains dementia (in this case Alzheimer’s disease).

 

What stands out is how many activities have been struck off the list, and the need to find extremely simple, hands-on alternatives.

Examples of No-Fail, Fun Activities For People with Dementia-Like Conditions

Everyone is different, so you’ll want to calibrate these activities according to your elder’s tastes.

In the early stages, your elder might still enjoy playing cards, like memory games or solitaire. They might enjoy Hua Hee, a memory card game specially developed for ageing family members. If your elder still wants to play their regular games, cards with bigger numbers will be easier to read.

An example of a memory box (photo credit: Home Instead)

If they still like looking at old souvenirs or special mementoes, you could make a memory box to rummage through or try this talking photo album, which helps your loved ones recall the memories in the pictures. Jewellery boxes also often have similar functions, though sometimes the memories – or lack thereof – can be overwhelming. You’ll also find that sensory activities help bring back memories, by activating their sense of smell or touch.

Some elders derive satisfaction from activities resembling household chores. You might find they love sorting cutlery, or folding towels and clothes. They will feel like they are doing something worthwhile. And at the same time, they can’t really fail these activities. Some will even enjoy cutting out coupons, for example. This means they have to be safe with scissors, so keep an eye out!

Remember, you can stay creative with your activities: make a (simple) puzzle that represents a special place, set up arts and crafts activities, create themed boxes with fabrics or materials. You know your elder best!

More links and ideas here:
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Independent Living for Your Active Elderly Loved Ones

Welcome to Irisada’s blog. We focus on solutions for families living with differently abled – loved ones so they can live life to the fullest.

Today we wanted to branch out to the older generations in our families. As our parents and grandparents age, their needs and habits change. This article will be dedicated to lifestyle changes that will help your family spend more quality time together. Watch out for our next article that will give you tips on adapting houses for better ageing in place.

Activities For our Active Elders

Often, we barely notice that our elders are ageing. Then we realise that the long hike we enjoyed together actually wore him or her out. Maybe he doesn’t react so well to heat anymore. Or she just seems worried about extended periods standing. It might be time to start changing or adapting the kinds of activities you suggest. Change doesn’t have to be drastic at first, depending on your elder’s abilities.

How fit can grans and gramps stay? (From a very fun series by photographer Dean Bradshaw)

It might seem frustrating if you think in terms of negatives – i.e. what you can’t do anymore -, so stay goal orientated. What’s so great about the hiking? Maybe it’s getting close to nature, or having time alone to chat, or a yearly pilgrimage to an important family landmark. Once you find the reason you love your activity, you can adapt. You could find less remote nature spots or bring a hiking pole to provide stability and help relieve joint stress. Or have a one-to-one dinner together. Perhaps you can drive to that special place. You’ll find new sources of enjoyment together.

You can also discover activities you’d never tried together. Introduce activities that they can comfortably enjoy throughout their golden years, also known as low impact activities. For example, petanque (a stationary version of boules invented to accommodate a former player who developed rheumatism), aqua aerobics and ballroom dancing will work for elders who like to move. Pottery or crafts activities will appeal to people who are good with their hands. And more experiential hobbies like tea appreciation keep the senses sharp.

Things To Do In Singapore

For our Singapore based readers, there are venues in town that are particularly well suited to older citizens. Nature enthusiasts will love the very cool and accessible Gardens by the Bay, the River Safari and the National Orchid Garden.  There are typically rest areas but just in case, you might want to consider one of these smart walking canes so your active elder can take breaks when they tire.

All these places have wheelchair rentals and many have discounts for seniors. The River Safari, in particular, has shaded walkways throughout the entire park, making viewing of the exhibits more comfortable. But do note that once you start the walk, the next toilet stop is a slight distance away, near  the panda enclosure.

The Gardens by the Bay host over 5,000 species of plants – and 2$ daily wheelchair rentals!

Garden lovers will also enjoy the therapeutic gardens, coupled with therapeutic horticultural programmes. The outing will be full of health benefits!

For history fans, the Asian Civilisations Museum and National Museum of Singapore are free for residents, and the galleries are wheelchair accessible and air-conditioned, of course. Generally speaking, many cultural activities are easily accessible to your ageing loved ones. A trip to the cinema or the theatre is a great bonding experience. Just remember to call up and check that they offer accessible seats if your elder is wheelchair bound, and arrive a little earlier than you normally would, so there’s no risk you’ll have to rush.

On a side note: you can still encourage your elder to stay active and practice sports on a regular basis. Singapore boasts quite a few options, including the People’s Association’s Active Aging programmes, Active SG‘s endeavours to find the right sport for each elder, and courses at the Asian Women’s Welfare Association‘s activity centres. NTUC Senior Care Centres also offer social day care and a range of care services for different needs.

We hope this article will help you with your active and independent elder. Before we leave, we’d like to finish with this inspiring video by the Institute on Aging.

Additional links

Here are some additional wheelchair friendly products that make your trip simpler:

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